Saturday, May 22, 2010

I Fight With You Because I Love You

Once upon a time, there lived a man and a woman so blinded by their differences in upbringing and opinion that it took them ages to swallow their pride and admit their undying love for one another. Prior to the much-anticipated confession, their courtship consisted mostly of heated arguments, which proved not only that they were both articulate and intelligent, but that they were passionate about the topics they argued. Such a strong display of passion ultimately revealed that the man and woman, although constantly at odds, simply belonged together.


So who are our mystery man and woman? For me, the first couple that comes to mind is Elizabeth Bennett and her unexpected knight in shining armor Mr. Darcy, of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. However, the theme of sparring lovers isn't a new one. We see it in literature: in Shakespeare (Beatrice and Benedick in Much Ado About Nothing), the Bronte sisters (Jane and Rochester of Jane Eyre; Cathy and Heathcliff of Wuthering Heights) and even J.K. Rowling (Harry's parents James and Lily; Hermione and Ron). We see it on TV and in movies too... just think of Katherine Heigl's filmography and you'll know exactly what I mean!


Anyway, I think that a lot of us are drawn to these unlikely relationships when they're done right. I know that I personally rooted for Blair and Chuck on Gossip Girl from the moment they first started scheming together (once I got over the fact that the show wasn't at all canon to the book series), and that You've Got Mail is one of my favorite movies of all time (even if I'm not even remotely a Tom Hanks fan). But don't they ever get to be a bit... cliché?


Confined to my house for the past week or so, I've had some time to really mull this over. After all, my last weekend consisted of Bridget Jones, The Ugly Truth, and The Proposal, all of which contain those adversarial love stories we enjoy so much. The movies are definitely cute -- and there is a huge market for cuteness -- but how realistic are they? Take The Ugly Truth as a prime example. All Katherine Heigl's character even does is argue with Gerard Butler's... even when unprovoked! It's just a movie, sure, but to me her character is borderline rude. She's not meant to be depicted that way, but because she disagrees with Gerard Butler's tactics for handling women, she will constantly put him down even when he's being relatively nice to her, and audiences eat it up because they love the chemistry that such butting of heads inevitably implies. Of course we know that because the characters' viewpoints are so radically different, they are bound to fall in love. It's funny, because if this worked in real life, we'd crazy not to pick fights with our enemies and then pursue them, since according to this law, they are so obviously our soulmates.

As I said before, when done right, these books/shows/movies can really tug at our heartstrings. But honestly, the fact that a story has two romantic leads who seem to hate each other's guts doesn't necessarily mean that it's going to be good. It also doesn't mean we should always look to date our polar opposites, either.

In fact, it's okay for us to like our significant others once in a while. :)

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