Breakfast at Tiffany's: Where Do You Belong?

"I don't want to own anything until I know the place where me and things belong together. I'm not quite sure where that is just yet. But I know what it's like... it's like Tiffany's... What I've found does the most good is just to get in a taxi and go to Tiffany's. It calms me down right away, the quietness and proud look of it; nothing very bad could ever happen to you there, not with those kind men in their nice suits... If I could find a real-life place that made me feel like Tiffany's, then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name." - Breakfast at Tiffany's (novel), by Truman Capote

With no classes for the past several weeks, I've finally had some time to crack into my personal summer reading. First on the list was Truman Capote's novella Breakfast at Tiffany's (later made iconic in film by Audrey Hepburn, which I have unfortunately yet to see), but I had no idea that the story would have such an impact on me. After all, it was written before my parents were even born, and its images originally seemed way too glamorous for me to ever relate to.

Then, of course, I opened the book.

For those of you unfamiliar with Breakfast at Tiffany's, it's all about this beautiful but eccentric girl named Holly Golightly who lives in a small apartment above the unnamed narrator who loves her. The novel details their growing friendship, and reveals the secrets of Holly's life before New York (as well as the scandals she involves herself in afterward). Throughout the story, Holly shares many of her own life philosophies, which ultimately provide a deeper insight into who she really is. One of the central conflicts in the book is Holly's search for a place to belong; as much as she loves NYC, she never really considers it home. Because of this, she can never commit to much of anything; it's the very reason why her calling cards say "Traveling" and she never named the cat that lives with her.

Holly's struggle to settle down made me think a lot about my own life and what it means to be "home." Before college, I had lived in my house in South Florida for sixteen years and never questioned my belonging there. I loved my little city and I always knew what was going on; I couldn't imagine leaving it behind, but at least I knew there would always be a place for me.

And yet, a week into my first semester of freshman year, I was already referring to my dorm room as home. In fact, "I'm almost home" now meant that I was approaching my building and scrambling for the keys, not that I was actually driving to my house. Three hours from what was once considered home, I found myself bonding with new people and no longer dependent on others. When I called my family on the phone, I no longer felt as much a part of what was happening in their lives because of the many miles of separation. And when I did return to my house for holidays and breaks, my room no longer felt quite like my room.

So what is "home" for me now? I was born in Illinois and yet I feel no connection to the Prairie State whatsoever. Meanwhile, I lived in my childhood home in Florida full-time for most of my life and it holds many memories, but nowadays, my room feels more like a museum of what my life was than a living space for me now. And I have been an Orlando resident for nearly a year now, but as much as I love the location and the friends I've made, the city separates me from some of the people I love the most. Like a chameleon, I've been able to blend in no matter where I've lived... but at the same time, sometimes I feel like a traitor to the home I've always known.

As college students, I feel like it can be difficult for us to figure out where we do belong, since we're constantly back and forth between our pasts and presents. What I want to know is this: what makes the place we live our home? Is home the place where you have the most friends, or where you spend the most time, or where your family lives, or where you have the most memories? Is it possible to consider more than one place home? How do we know when it's okay to commit to something? 

How do we know where we truly belong?

Everybody's Changing And I Don't Feel The Same...

"Change can be so constant you don't even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an instant. It happened to me." - Life as a House

We can't deny it: change is abundant and unavoidable and real. No matter what kind of person you are, your circumstances and experiences will have the power to shape you in some way, even to the smallest degree. And no, you might not recognize those changes right away, but those around you will eventually be able to see the person you are about to become. One day, you too will have that "aha!" moment, when you realize that you are no longer that wide-eyed child or jaded teenager, but in fact someone entirely new. Or, at the very least, that you have deviated somewhat from the person you always thought of as You.

Nelson Mandela once said that when you return to a place unchanged, you begin to see the ways that you yourself have changed. Tonight, when I met up with my friend Kevina for frozen yogurt at one of those new self-serve shops, I realized just how true that was.

The frozen yogurt place was brand new, but the plaza where it was located was not. In fact, it was a place my friends and I frequented throughout high school, one where you could find the hipsters, cheerleaders, and wannabe gangsters all coexisting quite peacefully. Anyway, as I waited outside for Kevina to find parking, I took a look around and was eerily reminded of a not-so-distant time. Gaggles of fifteen-year-old girls being dropped off at the front in their mothers' SUVs. The formerly heartthrob "bad boys" hanging around by the crosswalk, unsure of where to make their next move. The awkward young couples who are still getting used to holding hands. A few kids here and there taking a drag off their cigarettes, trying to look as though they've done it all their lives. And my favorite, the four fashionista Mean Girls who were probably in middle school, texting away on their Blackberries and flipping their hair over their shoulders.

The sights seemed all too familiar to me, but at the same time I felt like a total outsider. And in many ways, I was. I mean, technically it wasn't too long ago that I was in high school and I liked my own bad boy, or that my mother dropped me off outside the Barnes and Noble. But in the one year since I was a part of the whole high school food chain, I realize that my priorities have changed. My mindset is completely different. I'm not the same person. Okay, so I'm a nineteen-year-old girl who still cares about boys and friends and appearances, but if life away from home has taught me anything, it's that I'm more than that.

And I'm happy with who I'm becoming. : )

17 Alternatives To Studying For Finals: The Procrastinator's Guide

It's true: the semester is almost over. But while we have a lot of good to take away from that, we still have one final bump left in the road before we can really sit back and relax... final exams. In a way, the next week will have the power to make or break our academic lives (but no pressure or anything!). Of course we'll have to lock ourselves indoors with our books and flash cards so we can get down to business, but that doesn't always mean that we're being productive, either. In fact, up until college, I was the Queen of Procrastination, and still struggle with that to an extent. So, in honor of the impending doom that is Exams Week, I wanted to post my own guide on how to not study for finals, much of which comes from personal experience. (You can thank me later!)

1. Clean the entire apartment, even though it looks perfectly fine as it is. You never know if you missed a spot.

2. Look up all the Brat Pack movies on YouTube and then relive the 1980's... even though you weren't actually born until 1990.

3. Color coordinate everything in your room except for your lecture notes.

4. Take a midnight trip with friends to Steak & Shake.

5. Check your email at least once every ten minutes. Every five minutes, if possible.

6. Make an online playlist for "power studying" and then use it to throw a dance party.

7. Type in your name on Google or Pipl and find out how many people have your name and are not you.

8. Make lists. Period.

9. Call up a friend and have a wizards' duel.

10. Build a No Boys Allowed fort but then allow everyone inside when you realize at least half of your friends are male.

11. Become a fan of (or "Like") every Facebook fan page that has ever related to your life in any way. Ever.

12. Try on every possible outfit you can. Then try them on with different shoes. Then rearrange your entire closet.

13. Talk to or spend time with the person you like. Even if it isn't for long, it will definitely add to your distraction for a while.

14. Fall into the infinite loop of Lolcats until you find one that's appropriate enough for the situation.

15. Watch clips of The Office pranks after watching the latest episode of The Office.

16. Go on your friends' Formsprings and ask questions that you don't care about the answers to.

17. Post a blog about your own procrastination skills.

Good luck to everyone studying for your final exams!

The Freshman 15: What I've Learned

It's that time of the semester again! With a week of exams to tackle, last-minute grades to boost, and vacation plans to finalize, no one can overlook the fact that the year is coming to a close. But for some of us, this marks the end of a very exciting beginning. This time last year, I was scrambling for A.P. tests, shopping for my dorm room, attending pep rallies, and anticipating senior skip days. Now, in April 2010, I'm proud to say I survived my freshman year of college (not without challenges) and I've learned a lot from it... not just about anthropology and public speaking and how to use an oven or washing machine, but about (dare I say it) life.

Yes, I'm turning into one of those corny, semi (maybe a bit pseudo?)-self-actualized college students who thinks she knows everything... all I need to do now is start sleeping by the Reflection Pond of the school and bringing a frisbee with me everywhere I go. Perhaps that isn't exactly what I've become, but the truth is, I can't look at myself today and see the same person I saw in high school anymore. Things have definitely changed - hopefully for the better - and in order to document that, I decided to create my own Freshman 15, a list of the fifteen most important things I learned this year. And so, without further ado...

The Freshman 15

1. A first impression isn't everything.

Okay, so sometimes you do have to stick to your gut. Sometimes you might not like someone right away for a reason, and that's perfectly acceptable. But don't judge a book by its cover -- some of my best friends at school are the people I never thought I would see again, and some of the people I no longer hang out with are the people I thought would be my best friends.

2. Be friendly to everyone.

The first week after move-in is great for meeting people, because everyone is new to the school and looking to find their future best friends and boyfriends/girlfriends. Meet and talk to everyone you can... it really is worth it in the long run!

3. Flexibility is key.

I applied to college with every intention of majoring in Journalism and eventually winning the Pulitzer Prize, but a week into my first semester, I decided that it was no longer my passion. A little soul-searching and a trip to Career Services later, I changed to Advertising/Public Relations, and I couldn't be happier. It's okay if your plans don't unfold as you originally wanted them to; you just have to revise them until you've created something even better.

4. A fever is never really "no big deal."

After battling the flu, two ear infections, and mono in just the fall semester alone, I can honestly say that visiting the health center when you're not feeling like yourself is totally worth it. Living in close quarters with other people means that you're going to get sick, like it or not.

5. Take tons of pictures.

Document everything you can while you're here. It's always fun to look back later!

6. The "walk of shame" is not a myth.

Such a thing is possible no matter how far apart you live, regardless of whether or not anyone actually had sex. Just smile when you run into people and try your best to avoid their questions. :)

7. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

College is the one time where you'll have all these free services at your disposal... so go to the tutoring sessions, have Career Services look over your resume, talk to your advisors when you need advice on course selections, etc. After all, you've technically already paid for it, so you might as well get some use out of it!

8. When in doubt, turn on some Lady Gaga.

Whether you're getting ready to go out, craving a dance party with friends, or just hoping for something to brighten your day, Lady Gaga's your man. Or woman? You decide.

9. Parents aren't total dinosaurs.

The relationship you have with your parents does change when you're living away from home. And since they are no longer nagging you to follow a certain curfew or clean your room, you tend to be treated more like an adult. This makes it a lot easier to talk to them when you need advice or support. The more I talk to my parents, the more I find that they went through the same situations as the ones I am going through now, and they usually have better insight than anyone else.

10. Know who your real friends are.

Your friends aren't the people who leave you sick and stranded outside a club on a Saturday night because the line is too long to sit and wait with you. Your friends are the people who rush over to pick you up and talk you through things... the people who take care of you and bring you milkshakes when you're going through a tough time... the people you can ask the most embarrassing questions and expect the most honest answers from. And they are, perhaps, some of the best people you have ever met.

11. Find a way to de-stress.

It doesn't matter how much you love your classes or how strong your time management skills are... you will still, to some degree, experience stress. A little bit is okay and actually good for you, but when it becomes too overpowering, it's important to have some kind of release. (For example, I try go to yoga classes before I have a big test.)

12. Clubbing is overrated.

Of course this is coming from someone who doesn't like to dance, but the whole "night life" thing isn't all that college is about. It's great if you want your hair and clothes to smell like cigarettes, or if you want to get hit on by drunk older guys who don't care what your name is, but other than that, it usually isn't worth it. In fact, I've had more fun with friends doing completely random, even seemingly mundane things, than I've ever had at a club.

13. Take advantage of opportunities to grow.

If a guest speaker is coming in to talk about something that interests you, go. If the school is giving a workshop on one of your weaknesses, go. If you're in a club that offers some kind of retreat where you can learn more about yourself, go! Do whatever you can to improve on something in your life.

14. The hardest decisions you'll have to make are often the most worth it.

It may hurt at the time, but you'll thank yourself later if you do what you think is right. After all, when one door closes, another one opens.

15. Do what makes you happy.

Don't worry about what everyone else thinks. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself and keep your best interests at heart. Like Winnie the Pooh once said, "Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there someday."

What do you guys think? What has college/your freshman year taught you?